In Memory of Mom

My mother died one year ago today. She took her strength, courage and faith to the next chapter of her everlasting life. I was allowed the privilege of being with my mother the last seven years of her life and I was able to assist her with her dignified death in my home surrounded by respect and compassion. As a tribute to my mother and as a comfort to myself on this anniversary, I am posting this memory...

My father died suddenly from a heart attack in 1963. We lived in Florida where he had been the pastor for a Nazarene church. My mother was well educated and skilled for her own professional life but, prior to her husband's death, she had spent twenty years supporting his ministry and raising four children. She was forty-four, widowed with two sons in college and two children in elementary school. We moved out of the church parsonage and into a rental property while Mom learned how to drive and made major decisions about our future.

She was offered and accepted a position on the faculty of Trevecca Nazarene College in Nashville. She would teach world literature, the novel, creative writing and advanced grammar her first year. Mom flew to Nashville for her job interview and she met with a real estate agent who showed her some houses for sale. Mom bought a house and came back to get us and our belongings. We moved from Florida to Tennessee in August of 1964.

With her newly acquired drivers license in her purse, my mom packed everything and we loaded it all into a U-Haul truck. Two of my brothers got in the truck to drive to Nashville. This was a big adventure for them and they started driving as soon as the truck was loaded. Mom took a few hours to say her goodbyes to friends and neighbors. Then we got in Dad's Buick Le Sabre and she started driving north. I was holding a Chatty Brother doll in my lap as we traveled. We made it to Valdosta, Georgia the first night. Mom was not breaking any speed limits.

The second day of our trip was long and tedious. We sang and told stories and stopped frequently to look at things or to get a meal. A storm blew up around us when the sun began to set. I was just a kid sitting in the passenger seat, staring out the window. I saw tall pine trees bending over in the wind. The windshield wipers were doing their best to maintain visibility for Mom as she hunched her shoulders and stared into the highway ahead of us. Then she pulled over to the side of the road and stopped.

She reached for my hand and said, "Elaine, I'm scared. We're lost. There was a detour sign back there and somehow I got off track. Will you pray with me?" I could see in her face that she was afraid and that startled me. I didn't remember ever seeing fear in my mother's face. She prayed for God's presence and guidance. Then I prayed too, asking God to keep us safe. Then my mother recited the 91st Psalm..."You who live in the shelter of the Most High, who abide in the shadow of the Almighty will say to the Lord, "My refuge and my fortress; my God, in whom I trust." She let go of my hand and started the car again. We found a restaurant and while I ate ice cream my mother asked for directions. The storm blew over and we stopped for the night. Mom and I made it safely to our new home the next day.

That moment in the car with my mother during the storm is a stand-out moment in my life. My mother admitted to me that she felt afraid. And she showed me how to deal with being lost and afraid. Like the trees that were bending in the wind, we bowed our heads and prayed. We were lost and we were scared but we were not alone or forgotten. We were in the shelter of the Most High even then. I know that my mother is even now abiding in that same shelter and trusting in the God who comforts me today.